What is different about grief after a VAD death?
Grief after a VAD death can include ordinary grief as well as feelings linked to planning, secrecy, disagreement, relief or the known date of death.
Grief after a voluntary assisted dying (VAD) death is still grief. The person has died, and those who loved them may feel shock, sadness, anger, numbness, guilt or relief.
Some parts can feel different because the death may have been planned, witnessed, private, disputed or tied to a known date.
General information: This page gives general information for people in Australia. It cannot tell you how you should feel. If grief feels unsafe, overwhelming or you may harm yourself, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or 000 in an immediate emergency.
Feelings can be mixed
Families may feel relief that suffering has ended and grief that the person is gone. They may feel proud they supported the person's choice and also unsettled by what happened.
Mixed feelings are common after many deaths. VAD can make them sharper because people may have had to talk openly about timing, choice and final plans.
Some families disagree
Not everyone in a family may support VAD. Some may be excluded because the person wanted privacy. Others may have been present but unsure. These differences can shape grief.
Support from a counsellor, social worker, spiritual care worker or grief service can help.
You may also want to read
- How do families cope with knowing the exact date of a VAD death?
- Is it normal to feel relief as well as grief after a VAD death?
- What support is available for families after a VAD death?