Is it normal to feel relief as well as grief after a VAD death?
Yes, relief and grief can happen together after a VAD death, especially when someone had been suffering or the family had been under strain.
Yes. It can be normal to feel relief as well as grief after a VAD death. Relief might come because the person's suffering has ended, because a hard waiting period is over, or because family members no longer have to watch decline day after day.
Relief does not mean you did not love the person.
General information: This page gives general information for people in Australia. It cannot tell you how grief should feel. If you feel at risk of harming yourself, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or 000 in an immediate emergency.
Mixed feelings are common
You might feel sad, relieved, guilty, angry, calm, numb or exhausted. You might support the person's choice and still wish things had been different.
These feelings can change from hour to hour. They can also be affected by family disagreement, secrecy, culture, faith or the way the final day unfolded.
When support may help
Consider support if guilt is severe, sleep is badly affected, you keep replaying the death, family conflict is escalating, or you feel unable to function.
Support can come from a GP, counsellor, bereavement service, palliative care social worker, spiritual care worker or grief organisation.
You may also want to read
- What is different about grief after a VAD death?
- How do families cope with knowing the exact date of a VAD death?
- What support is available for families after a VAD death?