How do I tell my children that someone they love is dying?

Australia · 29 August 2026 · 4 min read · Reviewed by Dr Kane Treble

Tell children the truth in clear, gentle words.

General information: This page gives general information for people in Australia. It cannot tell you exactly what is happening in one family's situation. If you are worried about a child's safety, distress, behaviour or mental health, contact your GP, school wellbeing staff, counsellor, psychologist, paediatrician or another suitable health professional.

Tell children the truth in clear, gentle words. Use "dying" and "death" rather than phrases like "going to sleep" or "going away". Children often sense when something is wrong. Honest information, given in small amounts, usually helps them feel less alone and less confused.

You do not need one perfect speech. It is usually better to have a series of short talks, then answer questions as they come.

Choose a quiet moment

Try to tell them somewhere private, with enough time for their first reaction. If possible, have a trusted adult with you. This may be the other parent, a grandparent, aunt, uncle, close family friend, social worker or nurse.

Start with what has changed:

"Nanna's illness has got much worse. The doctors have tried treatments, but her body is not getting better. She is dying. That means she will not be able to stay alive."

For younger children, keep it shorter:

"Dad is very, very sick. The doctors cannot make the sickness go away. He is dying, and he will die soon."

Say what they need to know now

Children need basic facts: who is sick, what is happening, whether they can catch it, who will care for them, and what might change at home.

They may ask blunt questions. "When will she die?" "Will I die too?" "Did I cause it?" Answer in plain words. If you do not know, say so:

"We do not know exactly when. The doctors think it may be days to weeks, but they cannot tell us the exact time."

Tell children they did not cause the illness by being angry, naughty, noisy or wishing something in a hard moment. Young children can connect events in ways adults do not expect.

Match the child's age

Preschool children need simple words and repetition. They may ask the same question many times.

Primary school children may want more detail about the body, what death means, and what will happen next.

Teenagers may need privacy, direct answers and the chance to choose who else knows. Some will search online. Help them find reliable information and remind them that not every story online applies to your family.

Children may cry, go quiet, get angry, ask practical questions, change the subject, or want to play. These can all be normal reactions.

Keep routines where you can

Children need care around the hard news. Tell them who will pick them up, who will cook dinner, whether they are going to school, and when they can see the person who is dying.

Let school, childcare or a trusted teacher know enough to support them. Children should not have to carry the news alone.

When to get help now

Seek extra help if a child is very withdrawn, cannot sleep for many nights, has panic symptoms, stops eating, has major behaviour changes, talks about wanting to die, or says they may hurt themselves.

If a child or teenager may hurt themselves or someone else, call 000. For crisis support in Australia, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, text 0477 13 11 14, or use https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/.