Should I make someone who is dying eat?
No.
No. You should not make someone who is dying eat. You can offer food gently if they are awake, interested and able to swallow safely, but forcing food can cause distress, choking, coughing, nausea or discomfort.
Near the end of life, the aim usually changes from building strength to comfort. Food can still matter, but often as taste, pleasure, routine, culture and connection rather than nutrition.
General information: This page gives general information for people in Australia. It cannot tell you exactly what is happening in one person's situation. If you have concerns about a symptom, medicine, treatment decision or change in someone's condition, contact their doctor, palliative care team, nurse or other treating health professional.
Why eating less is common
A dying person's body slows down. They often need less energy and may not feel hungry. They may sleep through meals, feel full quickly, or find chewing and swallowing tiring.
There can also be treatable reasons for eating less, especially earlier in illness. These include pain, nausea, constipation, dry mouth, mouth sores, dental problems, dentures that do not fit, low mood, confusion, medicine side effects or swallowing difficulty.
If the person is not clearly in the last days of life, ask the GP, nurse, palliative care team, dietitian or speech pathologist whether any of these problems can be helped.
How to offer food safely
If the person is awake and wants food, keep it small and easy. Offer a few spoonfuls, not a full plate. Choose familiar foods they enjoy. Soft, moist foods may be easier than dry or crumbly foods.
Let the person set the pace. Give them time. Stop if they close their mouth, turn away, cough, become drowsy, sound wet or gurgly, hold food in their mouth, or look uncomfortable.
Do not argue, bargain, shame or plead. Saying "you need to eat to get strong" may not be true when the person is dying, and it can make the person or family feel they are failing.
If food has strong cultural, religious or family meaning, tell the care team. There may be ways to honour that meaning through taste, smell, ritual, presence or mouth care without forcing intake.
If they ask for food but cannot manage it
This is a hard situation. A person may ask for food or drink but be too weak or unsafe to swallow. Ask the nurse or speech pathologist what is safe.
Sometimes a small taste can be offered for pleasure. This might be a tiny amount on the lips or tongue, or a moistened mouth swab with a favourite flavour, if the care team says it is safe. The aim is comfort, not a meal.
If they cough or choke, stop and ask for help. Do not keep trying because they asked for it. Their safety and comfort still matter.
What if family members disagree?
Disagreement about food is common. One person may feel that not feeding is neglect. Another may worry about choking. The team can help explain what is happening and what options are realistic.
Useful questions include:
- "Is eating likely to help them now?"
- "Could food make them more uncomfortable?"
- "What is safe for swallowing?"
- "How can we keep their mouth comfortable?"
- "How can we respect their usual wishes and culture?"
If the person has an advance care directive, care plan, or past conversations about feeding, tell the team.
When to get help now
Contact the palliative care team, GP, nurse or aged care staff if the person coughs or chokes when eating, has a wet voice after swallowing, cannot swallow tablets, has mouth pain, seems hungry but cannot eat safely, has repeated vomiting, or eating has changed suddenly.
Call 000 if the person is choking and cannot breathe. If they are expected to die and have a care plan, follow the plan and contact the listed service for non-emergency advice.
You may also want to read
- They've stopped eating and drinking. Are we starving or dehydrating them?
- How do I know if someone who cannot speak still wants food or drink?
- Would a feeding tube make someone stronger near the end of life?
- Would IV fluids help someone who is dying?