How do I know if someone who cannot speak still wants food or drink?

Australia · 29 August 2026 · 4 min read · Reviewed by Dr Kane Treble

You may not be able to know for sure.

You may not be able to know for sure. If someone cannot speak, watch their behaviour, face, mouth, swallowing and comfort. They may show interest by opening their mouth, turning towards a spoon or cup, licking their lips, reaching, sucking, or seeming settled by a small taste. They may show refusal or difficulty by turning away, closing their mouth, coughing, choking, grimacing, holding food in the mouth, or becoming drowsy.

Near death, a person may no longer feel hunger or thirst in the usual way. A dry mouth can look like thirst, but mouth care may help more than food or drink.

General information: This page gives general information for people in Australia. It cannot tell you exactly what is happening in one person's situation. If you have concerns about a symptom, medicine, treatment decision or change in someone's condition, contact their doctor, palliative care team, nurse or other treating health professional.

Check whether they are awake enough

Food and drink are safest when the person is awake, upright enough, and able to swallow. If they are deeply asleep, drifting in and out, or cannot follow what is happening, do not put food or fluid into their mouth unless a clinician has shown you it is safe.

If they wake and seem interested, offer a very small amount. Pause. Watch. Stop if they cough, sound wet, hold the food in their mouth, look distressed, or become sleepy.

Signs they may want a small amount

They may be interested if they:

open their mouth when a spoon or cup comes near
turn their head towards food or drink
lick their lips
suck from a straw or spoon safely
swallow comfortably
seem calmer after mouth care, a sip or a small taste
reach towards a cup or familiar food.

These signs are not perfect. Go slowly and keep checking. A person may enjoy one sip and then be finished.

Signs to stop

Stop offering food or drink and ask for advice if they:

turn their head away
keep their mouth closed
push the spoon or cup away
cough, choke or gag
sound wet or gurgly after swallowing
hold food or fluid in their mouth
drool more than usual
become breathless, distressed or very tired
fall asleep with food or fluid in their mouth.

Forcing intake can cause choking or discomfort. Refusing food or drink near death is not a failure by the person or the carer.

If they have dementia, stroke or swallowing problems

People with dementia, stroke, motor neurone disease, Parkinson's disease and other conditions may have trouble showing what they want. They may also have dysphagia, which means difficulty swallowing.

Ask whether a speech pathologist has given advice about safe textures, drink thickness, positioning, alertness and when to stop. Ask staff to show you how to help, especially if you are caring at home.

If the person had past wishes about food, drink, feeding tubes or comfort care, tell the team. If there is an advance care directive or care plan, make sure it is available.

Mouth care still matters

If the person cannot eat or drink safely, they still need mouth care. A dry mouth can be uncomfortable and may cause cracked lips, bad taste, sores or trouble speaking.

The nurse may show you how to moisten the mouth, clean the tongue and gums, and apply lip balm. If safe, the person may enjoy a favourite flavour on a swab or tiny spoon. Do this only in the way the care team recommends.

When to get help now

Contact the palliative care team, GP, nurse or aged care staff if the person seems distressed by hunger or thirst, has a dry or sore mouth, coughs or chokes with food or drink, has a wet voice after swallowing, cannot swallow medicines, or you are unsure what is safe.

Call 000 if the person is choking and cannot breathe. If the person is expected to die and has an end-of-life care plan, follow that plan and contact the listed service for advice.